What our matchmakers look for
A behind-the-scenes look at how we think about compatibility before we ever suggest a match.
Compatibility isn't a checklist of shared hobbies. We've made matches between people with almost nothing in common on paper that turned into great relationships, and matches between near-identical profiles that went nowhere. What we're actually looking for is harder to put in a form: pace, values, how someone handles disagreement, what they're actually looking for versus what they say they're looking for.
That's why the interview matters more than the profile. A twenty-minute form tells us what you think you should say. A conversation tells us how you actually think — what makes you light up, what you're guarded about, where you've grown since your last relationship.
We also weigh timing and intent heavily. Two great people can be a bad match if one is looking for something casual and the other is ready to build something serious. We'd rather ask the direct question upfront than waste anyone's evening.
None of this is algorithmic, and that's deliberate. A person who's spent an hour actually talking to you will catch things a matching score never will.